Jonathan Caouette

Work: Tarnation
When: 8 pm Saturday April 2 2005
Where: Muvico 2 - Centro Ybor

Jonathan Caouette in "Tarnation"

"I was born and raised in Houston, Texas, where I grew up mostly with my grandparents while my mother Renee was in and out of hospitals dealing with her mental illness. I also spent time in the foster care system, where I experienced a great deal of neglect and abuse.

"Filmmaking for me became a means of disassociation and escape. By picking up a camera when I was a kid, I found a way to survive the life I was enduring. I used the camera as a weapon, a shield and a way to illuminate how I was feeling about everything. Filming things was a way of talking to myself.

"When I was 8, other kids were outside playing football or hackey-sack; I was inside writing a rock opera or storyboarding a movie I had just seen. My idea of a good time was sticking a camera in my grandma's face and asking her about her life.

"Tarnation is a film about youth, art, sexuality, mental illness, America and survival. It's also a love letter to my mother Renee, and to all mothers everywhere.

"Everything in Tarnation is true. My mother Renee was diagnosed with acute bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder, and is a survivor of the sometimes primitive mental health institutions of Texas in the 1960s and 1970s.

"I do have depersonalization disorder, which is defined as a feeling of disconnection from the body and a constant sense of unreality. They don't really have a cure for this disorder, so it's something I have learned to live with.

"Tarnation is designed to mimic my thought processes so the audience can also feel like they're in a living dream, which can be scary and intense, but also beautiful and glorious. Tarnation is a documentary in the sense that it's a true story but it's also a happening, an encounter, and a way for you to meet me and for me to meet you.

"I love so many films and filmmakers that it's hard to single out a few, but I'm especially inspired by the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky, John Cassavetes, Lars Von Trier, William Friedkin, Paul Morrissey, John Boorman, David Lynch, Sidney Lumet, Michael Moore, Albert Maysles and so many others! I'm a big collector of movies, music, and other madness. At last count, I have 1,349 films on VHS, betamax and 16mm, and 2,046 LP's and CD's.

"I believe Tarnation is the first feature film ever seen on a festival screen that was created solely on Apple's iMovie program (including picture edit, effects/timing, sound edit and mix.) Boy, has that been a challenge! My boyfriend's aunt Vicky gave him a computer last year, and I taught myself iMovie on it at night. By day, I was a doorman for a 5th Avenue jewelry shop a job that I recently had to quit to finish the film. I hope they hire me back -- they had a good health plan."

For more information about the film, please visit the website www.i-saw-tarnation.com.